I might know why.

I think the reason I stay up till I’m absolutely exhausted is subconsciously I don’t want to think about him, His smile, how it was replaced with an angry yelling face. How much I still miss him even though my left ear is throbbing. How can I miss him when he’s fucked me up so bad? Not just even mentally or emotionally this time. My left ear is fucked up for the rest of my entire life and I still miss him. I know why, he never used to be Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde, Just the doctor was who he used to be a long, long time ago. Death, life, rebirth. It all goes round… 

1 note
FUUUUCK

I am so frustrated right now! I feel like I’m failing. So then I get overwhelmed and get nothing done. Fuck I almost died last year and was cold for two days, it’s a fucking miracle I’m alive, and another complete kind of miracle that I am actually going to walk again when they gave me 2% chance of ever using anything beneath my hips again! I should give myself some goddamn credit.

1 note